This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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