So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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