Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
