therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
