That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
