you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Randomize
