My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Just invented taco cereal.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
