I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Randomize
