We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
