somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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