Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
