im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
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