I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
