im gay
i know
yea but for you.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
