Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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