Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
