Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
He shit in the fireplace
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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