I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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