Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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