I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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