The maid of honor just puked.
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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