Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
