That's when you crack a 10am beer
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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