Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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