At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
