What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
