I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
