i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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