i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I think your dad took our porno
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
