I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
