I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
