turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
