don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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