it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Randomize
