omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
