Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
