the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
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