"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
