Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Randomize
