Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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