I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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