There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Randomize
