Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
