Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
