You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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