Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
