peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
