I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Randomize
