meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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