I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
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